What ares the most common customs held on wedding night for the couple?

kiran_sh2004 - 2007-04-01 07:11:36 - Weddings

What are the steps to be followed leading to a full suhaag-raat-in case of arranged married couples, as they are starangers till marraige.

Best Answer:

Mine was an arranged marriage, but we werent' strangers to each other till we got married. We were allowed to choose each other. Later, we were allowed to knoiw eacfh other, understand each other. By the time we got married, we were best friends. About the customs, India is a home to hundreds of cultural heritages. Each culture has it's own customs. It's commonly believed that the 'suhaag raat' means plain sex. But trust me friend, a hell lot of couples utlize this time differently. Instead of going for sex (specially after a tiresome day), they prepare themsleves to create a comfortable zone among themselves. All the best... :-)

Answer:

I'd suggest 2 alka-seltzer.

no idea don't do it then maybe you'll know each other better

Wedding Night The kaleidoscope of a typical wedding ceremony reveals very colorful and joyous images. Most of the Indian communities perform the wedding ceremony at night and therefore the wedding night’s importance in the life of the couple really does not need any explanation in words. Prior to the actual wedding ceremony, several functions are held, both in the groom’s house and the bride’s house. These functions are a very important part of the marriage ceremony. Relatives, friends and acquaintances come together to make the tender dreams of the girl or the boy a reality. Though the most hectic activity is reserved for the wedding night, functions such as sangeet ceremony or the mehendi ceremony are mostly held at nights. Sangeet ceremony is a musical function in which both families take part and mehendi ceremony is held exclusively at the bride’s house. She has her hands adorned by the colorful mehendi and much merrymaking forms a part of this ceremony. After all the functions prior to the actual wedding ceremony are completed, comes the time to exchange vows on wedding night. One pertinent point that has to be mentioned here is that, Indian weddings are not only social events, they are holy ceremonies too. All the rituals that are attached with them, in some way or other, refer to various deities and invoke them to give the couple their blessings. With the arrival of wedding night, the bride looking resplendent in her wedding finery is escorted to the mandap by her relatives where the groom waits for her. In Indian weddings, the groom after arriving at bride’s house is welcomed by her parents with arti. The wedding ceremony has a couple of rituals each with a beautiful meaning, for the couple to lead a happy and prosperous life together. It starts with the exchange of var mala and then one by one the rituals are performed. Kanyadaan, sat phere, sindoor daan and other rites are performed to complete the marriage. Wedding night is a night of unbridled fun and excitement for the siblings and friends of the couple. Flirting young men and women from both the families try to avoid the prying eyes of the elders. Great food, rustling silks, heavy jewelry and fabulous music and dancing are part of any wedding night in India. Belgium Wearing White, Giving Flowers, and Throwing Rice In my country, the bride always, or almost always, wears a white dress. The man comes to the house of the bride and give her her bouquet of flowers (also in white or other light colors). They go to the church and the man is inside when the father of the bride brings her to her future husband. And at the end, when they come out, the family throws rice on them. Jolien Debonne from Belgium Brazil Important Details of the Wedding Ceremony A wedding ceremony in Brazil has many important details. For example, the bridegroom can't see the bride wearing her wedding dress before the ceremony. The bride has to use something old, something new, and something that is borrowed. One more detail is that the rings should be engraved: the name of the bridegroom on the bride's ring and vice-versa. María Celina Brandao How to Cause a Rainy Wedding Day If a future bride eats directly from the pot, it will rain on her wedding day. Renata Pauperio China Exchanging Handkerchiefs and Wishing Each Other Good Luck In China, every new couple needs to go to a park to have a video made before the evening party starts. If a new couple meets in a park, the bride and bridegroom should exchange a new handkerchief and wish each other good luck. It has to be red and have a picture of mandarin ducks. Because ducks always stay together, it means they will stay together. We have this custom so they share happiness and congratulate each other. Traditionally, the more happiness you share, the more good luck you get. So, don't forget to prepare these handkerchiefs by hand when you are going to get married. Conghong Lu One of the Interesting Things in a Chinese Wedding Ceremony In traditional Chinese wedding ceremony, a couple always has jokes played on them by their friends or guests. For example, during the ceremony an apple is hung with a thread before the couple. Then people who attend their wedding ask the bride and groom to bite the apple at the same time in order to show they love each other. However, at the moment their lips touch it, one of their friends suddenly pulls it away and the couple's lips meet and they have a big kiss instead of biting the apple before them. Interestingly, this action or behavior always causes a loud laugh. Cheng Limin Colombia The Candle Ceremony Lighted candles There is a traditional custom in Colombian Christian weddings. After the ring ceremony, the groom and the bride each has to light a candle. This custom has a special meaning. Each lighted candle represents the life of each one. After that, they light another candle together and put out the first candle of each one, leaving only the one that they lit as a couple. This bright candle means that now they are the same body and they are going to share every moment of their lives. María Lopez The Candle Ceremony In a Christian ceremony in Colombia there is the "candle ceremony" after the ring ceremony where the groom has to light the candle on his left and the bride lights the candle on her right. When they both have their candles lit, they put them together and light the candle in the middle. Then they have to put out their own candles and this means they become just one body for the rest of their lives. Jimena Baquero Eastern Europe Asking the Girl's Father for Permission In my country, the engagement is an event previous to the wedding. One month before the wedding, the groom asks the girl's father for permission to take the girl out of her family house. He goes to her house early in the morning with a band, if he can afford the expense. All the neighbors come to see the new bride and to tell her something nice. Stoyan Grigorou El Salvador Escorting the Bride to the Church All the wedding ceremonies around the world try to express different things through different ceremonies. For some reason, in some places in El Salvador, when a wedding is celebrated, the wedding ceremony service starts without the bride. The groom and all the people who have been invited to the ceremony are waiting for her during the service. When the wedding ceremony service starts, a group of seven men goes to the bride's home. The bride and her family are waiting for seven white cars which escort the bride's car until they arrive at the church. Finally, the bride enters the church and then the nuptial song starts playing. Walter E. Hernández Germany Polterabend--the Evening with Lots of Broken Porcelain Some days before the wedding, friends and relatives bring old porcelain and kitchenware to throw on the ground in front of bride and groom. This is supposed to grant them a happy, lucky life; that's why this evening event is called Polterabend--the evening with lots of broken porcelain. The German proverb--Scherben bringen Glück--which can be translated as "Broken crockery brings you luck." is derived from this custom. The Polterabend often develops into an informal and casual party. Ulrike Gahn India A Marriage of Two Families, Not Just Two People In the Sikh faith (East Indian) some weddings are arranged and others are love marriages. When a couple are to be wed it is considered a marriage of two families not just two people. The bride traditionally wears red (white signifies death in our culture) and the groom wears a traditional cream colored long coat called an etchkin with a red turban. The father of the bride joins the bride to the groom by handing her one end of a cloth that is held by the groom. The groom leads the bride 4 times around our holy book with the help of the bride's brothers and cousins. After the fourth round the couple are considered married. Priests give blessings and advise the couple on how to live and love in their new lives together. The couple are two bodies with one soul... Nicky Dale Holy Shower Indonesia Receiving a Holy Shower In Java, the bride and the groom mustn’t meet each other on this day because that would bring them bad luck. In this photo, I was receiving a holy shower with water and flowers from my mother. Kartika Sinclair Iran Tradition of the "Grinding Girl" In my country Iran, there are very many different traditions associated with marriage which should be very strictly observed, otherwise bad luck is sure to ensue soon. For instance, on the night before the marriage ceremony, three or four unmarried girls hold a clean white cloth on the heads of the bride and bridegroom while they are sitting on a sofa or on the ground. Then one of the girls start to grind two big nuggets of sugar together. As she does that, she asks God to repel all evil spirits from the life of the newly married couple. Before this, the families of the girl and the boy should make sure that the "Grinding Girl" is very trustworthy and decent. This will also provides the young unmarried girls with the chance to get married in the coming years! Mahmood Azizi Japan A Wine Ceremony Symbolizes Dedication A Shinto wedding has a typical ceremony. A couple drinks Japanese rice wine in front of a priest. First, the bride drinks the wine from a small cup. Next, the bride passes the cup to the groom and he also drinks the wine from the cup. They try to drink wine three times. This ceremony means that they promise to be dedicated each other. Maki Kubo Korea Tossing the Bridal Bouquet and Giving nuts and Jujube Many young people get married western style in Korea. That is, women wear a short dress, and men wear a new western suit. The bride throws her wedding bouquet back over her shoulder, and the girl who catches it is the one who is going to get married next. After the wedding ceremony is finished, the bride and bridegroom change into Korean traditional clothes and bow to their parents and elder relatives. Then, the parents and older relatives give them many nuts, Jujube, and some money. Nuts and Jujube mean they will have children, and they wish the bride and bridegroom a happy marriage. Kim Young Lee They'll Have Daughters and Sons If a bridegroom smiles a lot in a wedding, he will get a daughter as a first child. If a bride takes some nuts, she will get a lot of sons. (Traditionally, the parents of a bridegroom throw nuts and plums to a bride after a wedding. At that time, a bride takes nuts or plums in her shirt.) Minjung Song Mexico A Bouquet for the Virgin Mary In Mexico at a Catholic wedding ceremony, the bride offers her bouquet to the Virgin Mary and leaves it at the foot of the statue in order to thank her and ask her for a good life and for her blessing. This is a solemn moment at the end of the ceremony. After that, she meets her groom and they receive the priest's blessing and that means the ceremony is finished. Miriam Mostkoff Nepal A Pinch of Red-Coloured Powder on the Bride's Forehead One of the important events in our traditional wedding is that the groom puts a pinch of red-coloured powder on the bride's forehead. This symbolizes that they are now husband and wife. This red color on the woman's forehead differentiates whether she is married or not. Milan Gurong Saudi Arabia Good Luck for the Bride In Saudi Arabia, when men and women want to get married, they prefer to buy new clothes and throw out old ones. They say this is a new life, so the couple need new clothes. On the wedding night, the man dresses in white clothes and a long cover called a Bisht, and the woman dresses in white. At the end of the wedding, the man goes with his father and relatives to his marriage room and sits to drink some coffee for a few minutes. Then they leave. Then the woman comes with her mother and relatives and do the same thing. This removes the stress of the man and the woman, so they are together to start a new life. The morning after the wedding, the man gives a gift to his wife. Abdullah Al-Subaiei The Cutting of the Cake When the bride and groom start walking to the wedding cake, all the wedding guests move out of the way and look in anticipation at the bride and groom. Then the groom holds the bride's hand carefully and together they hold the knife. After they cut a small piece of the cake, the groom holds the piece of cake and the bride eats a bit of it. After that the bride holds that piece of cake and lets the groom bite another bit of the piece. Then the attendants start cheering and clapping for them. The cutting of the cake symbolizes that the couple have started taking care of each other and looking after each other. Sulaiman Alquraishi Who Took the Bridegroom? In my country (Saudi Arabia), after the wedding ceremony, the religious man says that the bride and the bridegroom are man and wife. Then the bridegroom goes to a party hall--a special hall for weddings--near his house. His friends follow him in their cars and honk their horns and flash their lights, so the people know that there is a wedding party. Our special thing is the food. At the party, they cook special, traditional food--rice and a whole sheep on a big plate--and they cook 8-15 plates because usually there are a lot of people at the party. After dinner, the bridegroom goes out from the back door and takes his wife to start their honeymoon, but sometimes--or usually--his friends will play big jokes on him. For example, they may take him before he leaves with his wife to have a picnic in a place he cannot get back from (the desert) for about 2-3 days to make him late for his honeymoon. Mazen Al-Qarawi Spain Take Note if You're Getting Married in Spain - If a groom's friend cuts a piece of the groom's tie, he'll get married soon. - If the bride wears something blue, she'll have a happy marriage. - If the groom sees the bride's dress, she'll have bad luck during the ceremony. Carmen Caffarena Taiwan The Groom Has to Promise to Take Care of the Bride One the morning of the wedding day, the very first thing that happens is for the groom to pick the bride up from her house. Before the groom sees the bride, he has to kneel down in front of the bride's parents and promise them that he will take good care of their daughter. After that the groom is allowed to take the bride to the car which is waiting outside the house. Then the whole day ceremony will begin. Stanley Chen Tests and Games for the Bridegroom In Taiwan, a bridesmaid and best man are not necessary in a traditional wedding because usually the parents will play these roles. The bride and bridegroom can not see each other the day before the wedding. Friends will design some games or tests and the bridegroom has to pass them before he can take his wife to get married. For example, friends will ask the groom about the bride's private things. If he answers correctly, he can go on to the next game, but if he doesn't pass the game, he has to give money to everyone and then he can go to the next step of the game playing. Those friends want to teach the groom it is not so easy for a man to get married to a beautiful woman. Wan-Pei Chang (Vania) Turkey I Can't Read Your Name, So You're Next! In Turkey, when a girl gets married, all her female friends write their names inside her bridal shoes. After the wedding ceremony, if someone's name has been rubbed off and can not be read anymore, it means this person is going to get married next. Arzu Cimitay Wedding Superstitions in Turkey - If you get married between two annual religious festivals that are two months apart, you might be unlucky. -If you write the name of one of your friends under the sole of your shoes in your wedding ceremony, and it is erased, he/she will wed in a short period of time. - If you catch a candy which is thrown by the bride, you will wed in a short period of time. Turhan Ece Venezuela Promises to Love and Take Care of Each Other The most important and unforgettable event of someone's life is marriage. In Venezuela, the groom has to promise his bride to love her his whole life and to take her forever. The bride also has to repeat the same commandments. It is popular for the couple to sing the promises to each other. This moment is really beautiful. In addition, the couple receives a list of commandments. Sonia Dale MEHENDI WEDDING CUSTOMS The occasion of Mehendi / Mehandi is fun a filled ritual, which is celebrated mainly by the bride's family. Today in our Hindu culture weddings are no more a small affair with only get together of family members and friends. But it is celebrated in a much more larger canvas than earlier. It is a lavish and elaborate affair nowadays. So pre wedding functions are no more a private affair. It is celebrated with equal fun and enthusiasm as the main wedding. Mehendi has great significance in all Eastern wedding traditions, and no wedding is complete without the decoration of the bride's hands and feet - in many cultures on both the front and back of the hands right up to the elbow, and on the bottom half of the legs. The Mehendi night is something like a hen night in the West, with all the bride's female friends and relatives getting together to celebrate. They spend the evening singing traditional Mehendi songs, which tell of he good luck and blessings that Mehendi will bring, and of its significance with different in-laws. The Mehendi night is common in the Gulf regions of Saudi, Bahrain, Kuwait and the UAE. Here, the celebration is generally held a few days prior to the wedding, and is strikingly similar to that of Indian culture. The bride has her hands and feet painted, and traditional songs are sung by the mothers and grandmothers, who tease her about her future. Mehndi also features in other Middle Eastern celebrations such as births and christenings. In Gujarat, Mehendi tattooing is part of the Adivasi women's wedding traditions. Leaves and flowers are used as templates around which complex designs are painted on the bride's face and arms. The Mehendi ceremony is considered so sacred in some religions that unless the mother-in-law has applied the first dot of Mehendi to the bride's hand, the painting cannot go ahead. The Mehendi dot is considered to be a symbolic blessing, bestowal of which permits the new daughter-in-law to beautify herself for the groom. Many brides believe that the deeper the color of the Mehendi, the deeper the love they will receive from their in-laws, in particular the mother-in-law, whose blessing is particularly important to an Asian bride. Hence she does whatever she can to ensure that the Mehendi stain is deep. A good deeply-coloured design is a sign of good luck for the marital couple. It is common for the names of the bride and groom to be hidden in the Mehendi design; and the wedding night cannot commence until the groom has found the names. A bride is not expected to perform any housework until her wedding Mehendi has faded. While much of the symbolism of Mehendi designs are being lost some examples remain. The peacock, which is the national bird of India, the lotus flower, and an elephant with a raised trunk, which is a symbol of good luck, are all popular images. In some customs the bridegroom's hands are also decorated, and communities in Kashmir and Bangladesh have evolved particular men's designs. A current trend in the UK is for traditional patterns in the form of a ring or bracelet.

Consummation!

I don't think they'll go there straight to where it should lead. I think they will have a good night sleep after all its a long day and tiring. Next they'll talk and learn about each other first, get comfortable with each other and then eveything will follow. But each one should not expect these and that, they are total stranger so expect the unexpected so that when good things came out you'll be glad and if something not so good you'll half sorry cause you really don't expect anything.After getting used to, then they can act like they just got married, carry the bride and shower each one with love. Happy wedding! God Bless You!

some things are not to be asked and some moments are not pre-assumed,, so be cool and don't get excited in any place, just try to know as much as you can abt your partner and let her know abt you.... And every thing continous as per procedure,, and further some other reasons take advices from seniors or friends in live coversation

Mine was an arranged marriage, but we werent' strangers to each other till we got married. We were allowed to choose each other. Later, we were allowed to knoiw eacfh other, understand each other. By the time we got married, we were best friends. About the customs, India is a home to hundreds of cultural heritages. Each culture has it's own customs. It's commonly believed that the 'suhaag raat' means plain sex. But trust me friend, a hell lot of couples utlize this time differently. Instead of going for sex (specially after a tiresome day), they prepare themsleves to create a comfortable zone among themselves. All the best... :-)

Do whatever your mind says on the weeding night(suhaag raat) like chatting, knowing more about your partner then involve in the sex act.....and your next day morning should bring you all happiness LOVE with the morning sun light and should stay like that, your entire married life...........

sit down and talk about the day you have just had... hold hands look into each others eyes. take a nice walk, relax and enjoy. you will both be in the same situation, so take it slow and enjoy the feeling of a new life together. good luck.

I am still single and havent tried...